Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
