"it" just moved
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Alive.
So much puke
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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