he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
