It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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