I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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