Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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