Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
