yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
