we have officially lost it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
