I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
