Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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