Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
