I just saw a hot homeless man
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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