When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
