After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
