If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
