Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
