I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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