walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
