you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
