You're completely useless in the revolution.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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