Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
