It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
