I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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