all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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