the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
