at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
