Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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