I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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