Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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