Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
