pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So. Much. Porn.
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