look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
