'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
