so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
