tell your sister to shave her snatch
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
