Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
