I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
