you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i out mim tonsoeep
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