I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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