I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
