I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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