I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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