She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
