Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
