Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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