It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
