OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
