We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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