i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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