how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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