I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
